• Hardcore Yogi

Model of A High Quality Sustainable Relationship: 3 Main Principles

Model of A High Quality Sustainable Relationship: 3 Main Principles


This model is based on the real life example of myself and my best friend Matt. We have been hanging out once or twice per week for 3 years, the only intermission being some travel here and there. The relationship is just as fresh and generative as it has always been, on a VERY high level. I have re-engineered some of the key principles which I believe have been vital to the success of this long term relationship, albeit plutonic, lol.


1. Both parties are on the path to the highest growth and goodness.

Sometimes a relationship can fail if either a) Both parties become self-destructive, or b) One party is self-destructive while the other is not. This can result in the parties enabling negative behaviours, or one party dragging the other down. But when both parties are on the path of true generation and growth, it is a recipe for sustainability.


2: Strong Alignment and Similarity in Core Values.

In the case of me and my long-term good friend, we share the same highest core values: health and well-being, serving humanity, knowledge and Enlightenment. Sharing the same CORE values provides endless common ground, even when chapters of life and specific interests evolve. While chapters may change, the same general interest in each other’s path remains, because the paths share the same core themes.


3. No Manipulation Tactics of Any Kind.

I first heard this phrase on a video from Actualized.org, called “65 Core Principles of Living The Good Life”. This principle of no manipulation tactics of any kind, is a direct counter to “The 48 Laws of Power”. While manipulation tactics may appear to serve some function, I believe they put you into a certain vibration which is competitive and cunning, and I believe that CONNECTING is the truest source of power. Synergy is better than competition. Win-Win is better than zero sum.


Within a long term high quality relationship, zero manipulation tactics may express itself in 3 ways.

a) Never keeping score. b) Abundant generosity. c) But still having personal boundaries when necessary.


On that last point, myself and my friend may still express personal boundaries. “I can’t do that favour right now, as I’m doing this instead”. Sometimes we must decline doing a favour because our schedule or path requires something else right now. But this is relatively rare, and we are wholly generous nearly all the time, but without keeping score.


4: Bonus principle: Geographical Convenience/Flexibility.

A little lengthly, and perhaps best shared as it’s own post on a seperate occasion 🙂.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I think the model is solid. I’m keen to hear any additional “key principles” you know of when it comes to sustainable high quality relationships, whether with lovers, close friends, or collaborators.


Social capital is the greatest form of capital there is. It is human capital that will outlast every other economic paradigm we have. Through the ups and downs, the bubbles and busts, social capital will get us though.

Much love and light. Namaste.


- Hardcore Yogi


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